Popping melatonin pills to help me sleep, but using Dr. Pepper to wash them down because I’m a hypocrite
Porns that try and have stories make me laugh.
"Let me go put this empty box down in my fake pizza delivery shirt…. annnnnd there’s a dick in me"
I thought it would be funny to fart on my cats face while he slept, and I did. And it scared him so much he fell out of the chair. I can’t stop laughing holy shit